This morning, a technician stopped by to look at the washing machine. He started checking the controls, turning dials, pulling knobs... and then suddenly the machine came to life!
Ohhhhhhh you turn the dial and then pull it to start the machine!
Just like every other washing machine on the planet. Right.
In my defense, the dial was shaped a little differently than I'm used to, so it didn't look to me like it was intended to function that way.
Just to be safe, I had the technician show me how to use the dryer, too.
This is fantastic! Now if only I could figure out how to use the stove....
Oh, dear. I'm going to be a bachelor forever, aren't I?
Well anyway, that's one problem solved. Now to sit back and wait for the Tigo van to stop by!
Annnnnnnnnd then a massive storm appears. Apparently, the universe has a particularly sadistic sense of humor.
I sighed and put on another podcast... and then the power went out.
Oh, you have got to be kidding me.
I checked the washing machine. Yup... all of my clothes were sitting in a pool of soapy water. Great.
Well, I don't know how long the power will be off; I'd better rinse these off and hang them up in the backyard – oh, right; it's raining – um... I'll hang them up in my bathroom then.
I scrubbed and rinsed out my clothes (in the dark, I might add!), wrung them out and hung them up in my bathroom to dry. I didn't have a clothes line handy, so I had to improvise; I hung shirts from the shower doors, draped my (famous) underwear over the sides of the tub, balanced socks on counter edges....
As soon as I finished, the power came back on.
Just then, my friend texted me and suggested I come over again.
I came over, set up shop in her kitchen and plugged her cellular modem into my laptop...
... and then I froze.
"Hey, how late is the mall open?"
So I found myself in cab with my friend and her son riding out to Villamorra Shopping. We stopped by the Personal kiosk, and I picked up my very own mobile broadband modem!
I... have internet access now.
Somewhere, deep inside the dark, silent depths of my comatose brain, a single neuron flickers back to life. And then another. And then another.
We had dinner this evening at McDonalds. I hadn't eaten at McDonalds (anywhere in the world) for a couple of years, but it tasted just like I remembered — I'm going to assume that's because the recipe is the same and not because the food was shipped from the US.
When I got home, I plugged in my shiny new modem and got connected... and it said I had a zero balance.
Um... no; I'm supposed to have 3GB prepaid....
I've had enough; I'll figure this out tomorrow! I need a shower!
Oh, right; my clothes are still hanging in my bathroom.
I don't quite remember what happened next. I think everything went red for a second, and when I regained consciousness I was lying naked in a smoking crater in the middle of the woods several hundred kilometers away.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
|The future will be better tomorrow.|